Sigh of Relief

Last week was both heartbreaking and joyful. Last Monday after enjoying lunch with Hubby, Emma and I went to Tai Pan to checkout their Halloween decor. I quickly got side tracked by a bunch of pretty sparkly handbags and jewels but that's another story. While I was admiring a display of necklaces I got a text from a friend of mine that was a week ahead of me in her pregnancy. After having 2 previous miscarriages we were hopeful that this baby would carry full term. "We lost the baby" was all her text said. I became instantly heartbroken and concerned for her well being. I left the store empty handed and headed home to see what I could do for her and her family. I sent her a text offering to help with her 2-year old daughter. Emma fell asleep and not knowing what else to do, I began cleaning the living room. Being the emotional wreck I am in my current state it was tough to keep the tears from flowing. I told her how sad I was for her and she replied that she would be jealous my whole pregnancy. I wanted to go visit her but Colt advised me to give her and her husband time to grieve and see her after a few days. Tuesday she had a D&C and I checked on her via text still trying to give her time. Wednesday morning Colt and I went to my 9 week appointment. I can't begin to tell you how scared I was to get my ultrasound. When Dr. Smith came in and asked me how I was feeling I replied nervous and he said well lets just see the heartbeat and then chat about how you've been feeling. When he first put the ultrasound to my tummy I couldn't see anything. I nearly became panicked but then he pushed harder and there it was, a tiny flicker. When he turned on the sound and I heard the swishing of that tiny flicker I finally exhaled. It is okay, that's all I could think. We were so relieved in knowing that things were on track. I got my self together and headed for the elevator when I got a text. It was from my friend. She was worried about our pregnancy. I told her all was well and planned to see her later that night after school. I am so thankful for her, during all her heartache she wanted to make sure I was okay. I took her ice cream and flowers that night and just spent time chatting and watching our girls play together. I am still heart broken that we won't be able to share our pregnancy together but I pray that by the time spring comes around she is expecting again and has a healthy full term pregnancy. I'm also hoping that she can be one of the first to hold my new baby.