Baby Drama

As if things in our house are not crazy enough we have had a super crazy and emotional last 2 weeks. When we got home from camping with my family we were planning our annual trip to Bear Lake with Colt's family. Well our trip had to be postponed a few days as we had some unforeseen events happen. Sorry if this gets too personal for any male readers but it has to be said to explain what the problem is/was okee dokee. So after Emma was born I had an IUD placed so I wouldn't have to deal with taking a daily pill. I had no problems and I liked that it was worry free so after Katelyn was born I opted to have another. IUD's are not a big deal and they are 99.99% effective birth control. I don't know all the particulars but I know there are risks like a punctured uterus heavy periods and bad cramps. I endured the cramps and was used to the periods being heavy but when my last period was going into 3 weeks I began to suspect something was wrong. I had a scare of kidney stones about a month ago and had to go to the ER for pain meds and an ultrasound and the Dr told me I had a stone in my right kidney. Strange as all my pain was on my left side. I went home and thought nothing of it as I had 2 previous stones. About a week later on a Wednesday, the girls and I were heading home from a visit to my moms house, I began to have horrible pain on my right side. Suspecting that it was my stone I just took 2 pain pills and laid down on the bed. 2 hours after taking the percoset I was in such agony I thought Colt was going to carry me out to the car and rush me to the ER again. I looked up symptoms for appendicitis and I only had pain so I figured I had a cyst on my ovary that was rupturing as I was still having what I thought was my period. Eventually the pain went away and I brushed it off. We got our things together for Bear Lake and planned to leave the following Tuesday. Sunday I was still having cramps and bleeding and Colt told me I had to go to the Dr or else. I made an appointment to see the physicians assistant Monday afternoon so I could leave the girls with Colt and his mom and dad. I am not usually a nervous person when it comes to Dr visits. I didn't expect this visit to be anything out of the ordinary. I thought for sure she would tell me a cyst had ruptured and give me a pill to help stop my period. When she asked me the normal could you be pregnant question I said no way I'm on my period and I have an IUD. I gave her some urine and went to the lobby to wait for an ultrasound. While in the waiting area I could see the PA through the window and she looked panicked. She waved me back and sat me on the chair. I was not prepared for what she had to tell me. In a very serious voice she told me the pregnancy test they did came back positive and it was likely I had a ectopic pregnancy. I immediately began to cry. The first thing I said was "Really?" I had a preemie at home and I was in no way ready to have baby number 3 so soon. We discussed the routine for this type of pregnancy and I was scheduled for blood work and an ultrasound that afternoon. The next week was spent back and forth between home and Bear Lake, I didn't want to miss family vacation. I had a series of blood tests done and it was confirmed that I had a tubal pregnancy. This past Monday I went to Altaview Hospital and had to get 2 shots of methotrexate. Basically I had a small dose of chemotherapy. The chemo drug goes right to the rapid dividing cells and destroys them forcing my body to miscarry. It has been a tough week to say the least. Every time I go to the lab for blood work Emma gets worried. Yesterday I spent all day in bed and my sweet Emma kept checking on me and giving me kisses on my forehead. I still have one more blood test to make sure my HCG levels are dropping and then I should be better. It's strange, from the minute I found out the test was positive I didn't think of myself as being pregnant, until yesterday morning. I woke up in tears. When Colt asked me why I was crying all I could think to say was that there goes another baby I've lost. The physical pain and the shock have been tough to deal with but I realized that even though my timing wasn't right, there was a baby there. I have no idea what I need to learn from this and maybe I didn't need to learn anything but to trust that my Father in Heaven knows what he is doing. I have felt closer to Colt these past weeks and I have kissed Mini and Bug more. We are a family and no matter what curves are thrown at us we can handle things together. I love my girls. I love my husband. I am thankful for the things I have in my life.