I made a goal at the start of the year that I was going to get into shape. I would like to be able to run for once in my life and be thin enough to run the Raspberry days 5K in August. The first 5 days went good. I went for a walk and took Bear with me for company and completed a mile each outing. The first night I started lightly jogging I thought I was going to pass out.
These are my personal issues:
1. I have big boobs. There is no such thing as a sports bra for women with giant melons that doesn't cost under $50. I've looked. How can I feel comfortable and learn to enjoy running when I feel like I give myself bruised ribs and who knows what else. Ugh that makes it tough for me to begin working out. Forget about anything aerobic, same problem there. (sigh)
2. I am the type of stubborn person that if you say "Go Do IT" I inevitably say "HELL NO" I can't help it. My dear sweet hubby has often said to me "Honey I can watch the girls while you take Bear for a walk" For some reason my immediate response is to yell that he is being to pushy and give him some kind of excuse about how my body hurts. Cue reason number three.
3. I am an old lady. Whenever I get my big butt off the couch I hear all kinds of creaks and pops. After testing our new Kinect fitness trainer the one and only time I have done it, I was sore for three days. I realize it's because I am out of shape but I guess I just needed another excuse. My knees have been bothering me, my hips pop, my shoulder creaks. You name it I have used it as an excuse why I can't workout. (big sigh)
4. I am a loner who wishes for company. I know, that doesn't make sense right? I have always told myself I can do it on my own and I don't need any help. At the same time I have always felt lonely and sad that no one invited me along for whatever reason. I know of a group of women that are a huge support for each other in their fitness and weight loss goals. I envy them. With the exception of hubby who is a champ at his workout routine, I don't have anyone else to support me. I don't have a team. I really want a team.
5. Gym's suck! I hate going into the smelly stuffy place where there are 10 skinny chicks sweating their butts off running on the treadmill and here I am in my baggy t-shirt and sweats pretending I know what the crap I'm doing.They are WAY too expensive too. We can't afford a home treadmill so my only source for exercise is to go out and walk the neighborhood. It would be great if it wasn't 20 degrees out and I had to dress like I was going skiing. I know yet another excuse.
I don't like to think of myself as a lazy person. When it comes down to honesty I guess I really am. There was a time when I was single and I worked the graveyard shift at Target and I was so fit. I was pretty confident and I had muscle tone in my arms. I didn't eat a lot and I was active because I worked heavy freight all night. I thought I was sexy. When I look in the mirror now I don't feel sexy. I don't feel confident. I need to change that, desperately. I am by no means a candidate for the biggest loser but I know I can be better. I know what your thinking, same old new years resolution. I think this goes deeper than just losing weight and getting into shape. I need to be an example to my girls. I need Emma to know that it's important to be healthy and feel good. My mom was on diet after diet while I was growing up. I heard a lot about how "fat" she was and how she didn't feel pretty. My mom is beautiful. I just need to get my sexy back. I need to quit falling asleep on the couch while Emma watches cartoons every day. I need to quit eating chips and salsa at 10pm. I need to quit drinking PEPSI (sniffle) and drink more water. The funny thing about this post is I don't care if a single person reads or comments about it. I had to write it down and get it out of my system.
Here's what I'm gonna do little by little. Eat better no matter how much I love those cookies and donuts. Goodbye Pepsi I will miss you. Hello veggies and fruits! Water is not just for swimming! You didn't get new running shoes so they could sit in your closet and look pretty. There are plenty of "skinny" jeans waiting to be worn again. Someday, I will like my swimsuit again. Fluff the couch cushions and get rid of my butt print. I will be quitting the dreadful Facebook and Pinterest. I love them but I have other things to do and ways to spend my time. No more wasting time building my castle or my pin boards. (This one's gonna be tough)
Hello new me!
This is me in 2004 on vacation in Hawaii with my family. This is where I want to be again.
Who wants to be on my team?
6 comments:
miRight there with you girlie! I added the Myfitnesspal app to my cell phone so that I can track weight loss and calories. I am working on eating more times a day portions the size of my fist. It won’t let you post the picture I have but if you want to take a gander at my FB photo album adventures you will see it. The photo of me 60 pounds lighter, yes don't fall off the chair... that is the truth! My goal is to participate in the Dirty Dash June 2nd to support the Pack family (you are more than welcome to join our team) and then we are going to create a team for the Tough Mudder in October. I too have an obsession with Mountain Dew but working on tossing that!
Eat right, drink tons of water and get some good sleep. That is the key to the starting of the fat lose machine. You can be on my team anytime!
Hey, get on myfitnesspal.com right now and sign up. My screen name thing is rockinlisa, add me. Then u can add all the other neighbor ladies, they are so awesome and so motivating! Let me know if u have any questions about it!
Shawnte....do what Lisa said AND go the church in the mornings. Those ladies that get together are awesome!!!! I wish I didn't work so I could go there every morning with them! Every single person is invited.
Shawnte! I have been exactly where you are and I have taken baby steps and it has gotten better. It feels awful and it requires time and effort but it does and will get better. I'm still a total work in progress. I hate running but took it up last year for the sake of pushing myself and proving to myself that I could do it. I'm also stubborn and can relate to your resistance. I can't afford a tread or the gym and it is bitter cold. So for now, I'm focusing on my in take until it warms up a little. Lose the guilt though. Remove the emotion from this and look at it as objectively as you can. The feeling unsexy can actually hold you back and keep you down.
I remind myself all of the time that being healthy and losing weight feels better than any donut or chip taste. I also heard a great strategy that I have not tried. Instead of promising yourself that you are not going to eat something, promise yourself that every time BEFORE you eat something you are going to read an index card. On that card you write all of the reasons that it is important to you to lose weight and be healthy. You can put 3 or 10 but no matter what you promise yourself to read it before you put something in your mouth. I know a lady who lost a significant amount of weight doing this as it shifts the perspective from the present to the big picture and does factor in the emotion.
Once upon a time I had a trainer and he said that 80% of weight loss can be managed with diet. Not sure how accurate that is but I have been able to lose weight despite the cold and my inactivity by eating smaller portions, less fat & carbs and drinking more water. Baby steps! YOU CAN DO IT and it will be worth it.
If you lived closer I would totally exercise with you. Its so much easier when you have someone to be accountable too or to help you be motivated! I have been HORRIBLE this last year (or 2) and I've GOT TO get back in shape... good luck!
Maintaining a healthy lifestyle really can be challanging.. Especially when you love chocolate chip cookies as much as I do.
I'm as flat as a pancake chest-wise, so I don't totally understand how hard the boob issue is. However, when I was nursing, I got a glimpse into how difficult exercising is for well-endowed people. For the short time I did have boobs, I would often wrap my chest in an ace bandage to exercise. It helped a LOT. I know some well-endowed dancers who did the same thing for performances. Might be worth a shot.
Another thought, you may want to start lifting weight over doing cardio everyday. It will help sculpt your body, and actually I've found, helps me drop weight faster than any other way. Cardio is certainly important, and you should do it several times a week, but mixing it up is good for you, too. I'd be happy to show you some exercises to get you started.
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